i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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