Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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