5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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