4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
