meet me or not, i'm out of control
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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