i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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