she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
NoShamevember. You game?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
