FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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