Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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