For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
