Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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