Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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