we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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