i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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