Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
