I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
