All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
