I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were destined to go to rehab together
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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