omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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