Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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