He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
