i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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