I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
