There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
