Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
