i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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