I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Barsexuality is the new black.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
