We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
