Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
