btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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