It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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