i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
