i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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