I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
ttyl tear gas
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They have beer where we have blood.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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