maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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