The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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