Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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