You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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