im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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