He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
