it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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