I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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