Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
