dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
