you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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