good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
