So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
