Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
