What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
