he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
