Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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