Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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